The Space Between Cultures

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to bring two cultures together.
Not just aesthetically, but emotionally.
And how much of that lives in the space in between.

Growing up in the Netherlands, I’ve often felt like I had to adapt parts of myself to be accepted.

Only recently, especially after moving to Italy, I’ve become more aware of that. It brought back many memories of how things were for my parents.

And as Kurds, there is also a deeper history of not always being able to fully express our culture freely.

I don’t see myself or our people as victims. It’s never been something I identified with.

It’s more about becoming aware of how the world has shaped all of us more than we realise, and how that can show up, even in the most loving relationships.

I can see how I, and so many people growing up between cultures, have internalised certain ideas of what is considered “beautiful” or “refined”.

The European way has often been presented as the ideal, and only now I feel many of us are starting to question that.

Our cultures are so often described as too loud, not classy, or less than.
And over time, you start to look at your own roots through that same lens.

Probably that’s also why I haven’t always resonated with Kurdish weddings.
There were moments where I felt disconnected from it, without fully understanding why.

Not because I don’t love my culture, but because I was seeing it through that lens.

And I’m only now learning to see it more on my own terms.

I still don’t love how they are often shaped, but that has little to do with the culture itself.

Because when I strip everything back, what remains feels very different.

I love the vibrancy.
The expressiveness.
The collective energy.

And to me, that actually complements a more minimal, soft Italian aesthetic beautifully.

Not as opposites, but as two different expressions of beauty that can exist side by side.

When planning a wedding, these things surface in unexpected ways.
I’ve noticed this in our own process, in small conversations and reactions along the way.

Ideas are filtered through what feels familiar, what feels “safe”.

And without even realising it, you can start shaping a day where one culture adapts more to the other.

But for me, it’s not about choosing one over the other.

It’s about creating something that feels true to both.

A space where people feel comfortable being themselves.
Where there can be an overall feeling, but not something imposed.
Where different backgrounds aren’t softened to fit into one vision, but are part of what makes it beautiful.

Because when people come from different places,
that’s not something to simplify.

That’s something to honour.

It’s about bringing two worlds together.
Not one adapting to the other, but both being seen.

With love